"You've gotta learn how to fall before you can fly."
After watching that movie, I've come to realize why I hate love stories. (Rather, I secretly like watching such but it would kill me to admit that.) They remind me too much of what I'm missing out. Like, seriously, you relate to one or the other major character and you're sucked right into the two-hour love story of your life. And when that's done or when you take a two-minute break to grab some chow, you come to terms with reality and that reality is not the movie. We know I'm just beating around the bush… in a nutshell, I'm not inlove (I might be wishing I am) and I envy the characters in the movie.
That's one tough confession there.
I like to think I've been in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love. Oh you wouldn't believe the misery I went through. Then I got my heart broken and I got even more miserable. Worse things have happened since then, but there's nothing quite like it. It would be crazy to say it's something I'd go through again but then where's the fun in life if everything's safe?
It took me years (no kidding) to get over that heart break. Sometime during that "getting over" stage, another one managed to sneak into my system. Another "truly, madly, deeply". But this time perhaps it wasn't too madly, not too deeply. I got my heart broken again, OF COURSE, but this time, it wasn't so bad. I got over it pretty quick. Too quick, I'd say. Kinda sad to have to let go of an experience when you haven't really had enough of it. I'm feeling poignant about it just now.
Sigh…
And then, and then, I sorta figured out how it works, how someone "sneaks in" into my system (I caught on pretty fast). It's a blessing and a curse because now I know how to fast-track the "getting him out of my system" part. Yep, I go straight to that knowing I can't afford to fall in love. Sounds clinical, doesn't it? IT SUCKS. I compare it to reading Sidney Sheldon or Danielle Steel. Same plot, different details, good stories though. But I hate predictable stories! Like Sheldon. I don't read his books anymore because even before I'm halfway through the story, I already know who's the killer. Then I'd have to fool myself into thinking it's this other guy or that but at the back of my mind I know my first hunch was right and the ending just confirms it.
So, I hate love stories.
26dec04 0440a
PS: to be edited... and hopefully published elsewhere. hehe
01 February 2005
For the sheer pleasure of...
Writing
Thoughts transformed to words, written on paper, recorded on magnetic disks. Feelings, ideas, suspicions, speculations, opinions, pain, joy, memories. Flow from mind, soul, and body to the solid substance of paper, walls, cloth; from the fibers of the mind to a matrix of cellulose.
Falling in love
Heartbreaks, heartaches, laughter, tears, secret smiles, splendid ups and downs of a roller coaster ride. Lessons learned, forgotten, and remembered. Faces, moments, places, stolen time, hidden passion, yours and mine. Forget me not.
Aug20'03
0312am
Thoughts transformed to words, written on paper, recorded on magnetic disks. Feelings, ideas, suspicions, speculations, opinions, pain, joy, memories. Flow from mind, soul, and body to the solid substance of paper, walls, cloth; from the fibers of the mind to a matrix of cellulose.
Falling in love
Heartbreaks, heartaches, laughter, tears, secret smiles, splendid ups and downs of a roller coaster ride. Lessons learned, forgotten, and remembered. Faces, moments, places, stolen time, hidden passion, yours and mine. Forget me not.
Aug20'03
0312am
King & Queen
King procrastinator met the queen of procrastination.
"Hey, cockerch." he said by way of greeting. "I bet you're still awake." She grins and replies with a "Yeah, well, how much do you bet that I'm still up?"
"Anyhow, we gotta have better timing skills, I mean, I gotta have better timing skills," said the king, "if we are to have beer." The queen replies. "You do that, cockerch. This entomology thingy of cockerches and such is giving me a headache!"
He says, "Well, then, give meaning to your title." She laughs out loud. "My sentiments exactly! Listen to this: 'maita is my name, procrastination is my game (isn't that lame?).' "
Without missing a beat he throws back at her "Nice rime. Worth a hundred dime. Isn't it sleeping time?"
"Aww…" she says. "Are you gonna sleep already? Brushed your teeth and drank your milk? So you'll grow tall." She bats her eyelids at him.
"I'll do that laaater. I'm king procrastinator. Bow down to my laziness, oh beerbuddy! Good morning then!"
"Hmph! I thought you were gonna help me procrastinate. But no, the Queen does things all by herself!" The queen pretends to huff. "Oh well…" she gives in. "Sweet dreams then. I hope the bedbugs bite."
Sept05'04 0152a
PS: it sucks pero nalingaw ko eh. bleah! ;p
"Hey, cockerch." he said by way of greeting. "I bet you're still awake." She grins and replies with a "Yeah, well, how much do you bet that I'm still up?"
"Anyhow, we gotta have better timing skills, I mean, I gotta have better timing skills," said the king, "if we are to have beer." The queen replies. "You do that, cockerch. This entomology thingy of cockerches and such is giving me a headache!"
He says, "Well, then, give meaning to your title." She laughs out loud. "My sentiments exactly! Listen to this: 'maita is my name, procrastination is my game (isn't that lame?).' "
Without missing a beat he throws back at her "Nice rime. Worth a hundred dime. Isn't it sleeping time?"
"Aww…" she says. "Are you gonna sleep already? Brushed your teeth and drank your milk? So you'll grow tall." She bats her eyelids at him.
"I'll do that laaater. I'm king procrastinator. Bow down to my laziness, oh beerbuddy! Good morning then!"
"Hmph! I thought you were gonna help me procrastinate. But no, the Queen does things all by herself!" The queen pretends to huff. "Oh well…" she gives in. "Sweet dreams then. I hope the bedbugs bite."
Sept05'04 0152a
PS: it sucks pero nalingaw ko eh. bleah! ;p
"Life"
Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many
people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed,
Its not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of
music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black or brown
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart
everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will "accept the written you."
LIFE JUST ISN'T.
But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.
And who your judgments are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow,
and spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison
other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
and those choices are what life's all about.
From the Barber's e-mail
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many
people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed,
Its not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of
music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black or brown
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart
everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will "accept the written you."
LIFE JUST ISN'T.
But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.
And who your judgments are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow,
and spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison
other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
and those choices are what life's all about.
From the Barber's e-mail
Late night stuff! (like i promised)
haha! tugnaw kaayo diri sa netopia. beer is calling. i haven't tried getting beer or yosi sa starmart (whatelse would i get there? pressure check? =p) but i heard from my ate na they are? will be? banned from selling oh-so-sinful stuff like i mentioned na i haven't tried getting pa.
drat & double drat.
see you elsewhere, cockerch.
as for my late night thingys (i'm really shivering now inspite of my jacket) they're old stuff from my old, old, old computer at home. oh yeah, nasabi ko na yan in the other entry. well...
enjoy!
drat & double drat.
see you elsewhere, cockerch.
as for my late night thingys (i'm really shivering now inspite of my jacket) they're old stuff from my old, old, old computer at home. oh yeah, nasabi ko na yan in the other entry. well...
enjoy!
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